8. I stole a [poe]m.

In this room are you and I

and a metronome ticking

as your heart might be ticking

if you had a heart

that still moved.

You are so cold

now, or perhaps lukewarm.

(You are approaching room temperature.)

You’re so frail, turning steadily pale

as the blood drains from your face

never to return.

“Villains,” I shrieked,
“I admit the deed.

It is the beating of his hideous heart.”








shriek? shrieked? phonetically, "shrieked" is a bit nicer. "shriek" is the consistent tense. meh.
the dialogue at the end is stolen from Tell Tale Heart, although I omitted some descriptive stuff. 
mostly i just wanted your reaction on this one. i would also like to know if you think it could count as good. it's not an impressive display of technical ability, and a third of the poem isn't even words i wrote, although i did recontextualize them. 
also, i don't need that close of a reading on this one. there are better poems coming that will need your services more. on a technical level, just if you spot any line breaks that might be better placed? and then just if you think it counts as good or not.